Cut out the brain, as you have done your diligence in point 2.Find out if you strike a bond with the other person. You can ask anything you like – a movie, a food or anything you assume the person might also like. I met like 7 girls, for like on an average 30 min or so.Try to be as unemotional as possible, in this step. In the 15-20 minutes you spend with the person, try to see if this is the person you can live with.Try to use your intuition and ask what the heart tells you.In hindsight, it wasn’t a right approach to the most important decision of the life. I was of the opinion that I cannot say ‘YES’ in one meeting. We decided to meet after three days, his reasoning being we will get time to think about what we want to talk about or ask each other. The next two hours were spent talking about the reason for which we were actually meeting.My ultimate decision was based on the from elders in my family, her education, job prospects and availability of time for family and children in future (she was in teaching). The first two hours, we spoke generally, like two friends meeting up after a long time. So we told each other about what we liked about each other. Yes, arranged marriage is not very different from dating. According to a study titled, “A key reason for “parent supervised arranged marriages with participation” emerging as the most common form of marriage arrangement is that it is best suited for a cultural context that does not have a dating culture of the kind existing in the West.Even experts seem to think that arranged marriage is just a more elaborate dating process! Willoughby, an assistant professor in the School of Family Life at Brigham Young University, The focus when it comes to dating is squarely on personal chemistry, physical attraction, and compatibility.However, the challenge with love marriage or dating is that we may confuse lust and chemistry with genuine compatibility that can stand the test of time. As parents do the due diligence for us, they make sure the people we meet have similar values, background and other “culturally acceptable” criteria before we meet prospective matches.
But, at least for some of us, we get a chance to “date” prospective matches with the blessings of our parents.” will throw up a whole bunch of stale and well-known information that’s beaten to death already.We believe arranged marriage first meeting tips should be for the contemporary Indian women and men and not for generations from the past!Most of the girls’ parents responded to my matrimonial ad. We talked about our jobs, what our interests were, how we have come up in life, what keeps us going, and we even laughed at some funny incidents we ended up narrating for no specific reason.Being from top engineering school with a good job in India helped, but only so far. Marriage soured few years later and still on rocks. We even talked about our families to get a fair idea about our social circle and lifestyle. About our jobs, our views on working couple, our views on life in general. What we have experienced in life and what we learnt from it.